Here are of the craziest and rudest unforgiving answers from matatu touts that have been shared by different people. Compiled For Just for you!!
Responses from Kenyan Matatu Conductors!
Me: Tao Ningapi
Conta: Tao ni moja
1.An elderly woman complains about the music “Wekeni nyimbo za Yesu”
Conductor: Mathee, Yesu bado hajatoa album
Conductor: Mathee, Yesu bado hajatoa album
2.Passenger: Kuna kiti?
Conductor: Hao wengine wamekalia ndoo?
Conductor: Hao wengine wamekalia ndoo?
3.Passenger: Kuna kiti ama ni zile uongo zenu?
Conductor: Hehe kama ulikua unaogopa kukosa kiti si ungebeba yako.
Conductor: Hehe kama ulikua unaogopa kukosa kiti si ungebeba yako.
4.Passenger: Bwana hii gari ina joto sana!
Conductor: Basi shuka upande fridge.
Conductor: Basi shuka upande fridge.
5.Conductor: Madam,kuna seats pale nyuma.
Passenger: Siwezi kaa seats za nyuma. Nataka ya mbele.
Conductor: Kwani za nyuma ziko nje ya gari? Basi wacha dereva ashuke ukae mbele.
Passenger: Siwezi kaa seats za nyuma. Nataka ya mbele.
Conductor: Kwani za nyuma ziko nje ya gari? Basi wacha dereva ashuke ukae mbele.
6.Passenger: Tao ngapi?
Conductor: Mbao
Passenger: Niko na kumi
Conductor: Iyo nunua avocado ujipake uteleze mpaka tao.
Conductor: Mbao
Passenger: Niko na kumi
Conductor: Iyo nunua avocado ujipake uteleze mpaka tao.
7.Girl: Dereva ongeza volume tuskie Mwalimu King’ang’i
Connductor: Ungeskiza Mwalimu wa shule ungekua na gari yako si kutusumbua hapa na King’ang’i ..
Connductor: Ungeskiza Mwalimu wa shule ungekua na gari yako si kutusumbua hapa na King’ang’i ..
Conda:Beba beba madam unaenda?
Lady:Sneers,rolls eyes and mschewwws>
Conda: Unaringa na unafanana kiatu yangu na chini, Dere inua!
Conda:Beba beba tao twende!
Plump Chic:Ni ngapi?
Conda:Tao ni 70 msuper
Plump Chic: Ai siezi lipa hio!
Conda: Haya juu uko na tyre kwa tumbo, roll hadi tao, nkt!
Conda;
Woman: We hii kelele ni mingi sana!
Conda(pretending not to hear): Ati?
Woman: Nasema kelele ni mingi, punguza!
Conda: Oooh pole fungua dirisha itoke
Conda: Pesa yako
<passenger hands over a 1000 Ksh>
Conda: Hauna Pesa ingine
<Passenger hands over another 1000Ksh>
Conda: Dere simamisha gari turushe mtu inje
Conda:Haya pesa yako hapo nyuma..
Man:Ah nitakupatia.Utaipata tu hapo mbele.
Conda:Ala kwani hiyo pesa yako inapandia stage gani?
Conda:Hela mkononi hapo!
Dude:Gives cash, dozes off
Conda:Boss sasa leta ya lodging
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